God's Perfect Plan

Hello everyone! We are so excited to share this experience and amazing adventure with our friends and family! If you're reading this, you already know that Sam and I have decided to adopt two children from the Democratic Republic of Congo in Africa. Since this came as a shock to most of you (although some predicted this would happen, long before we even knew ourselves), let me tell you a little about how we got to this decision...

In February, 2012, Sam mentioned I should "read" (we listen to audio books) the book called "Not a Fan". He gave me the CDs and I started listening to it on the way to and from work. This book was amazing! The message is inspiring, teaching us to be true followers of Jesus, not just "fans" who only focus on Him when it is convenient or when we suddenly remember we haven't prayed for 4 days. Throughout the book, the author challenged me to think outside the box and apply what I was learning to my every day life.
Every year, Sam and I take an anniversary trip. We switch off who plans it, and this was my year to plan. We toyed around with the idea of a cruise, but I hadn't made any final plans. As I was nearing the end of the book, I was contemplating planning our anniversary trip to be a mission trip. The idea felt right, but the thought of not getting to spend a week on a cruise, basking in the sun was holding me back. In the last chapter of the book, the author stated: "I'm going to paint a picture for you. You're going to watch a movie of your life, but instead of seeing familiar events as you remember them, I'm going to insert details that were changed because you truly followed Jesus..." He went through various scenarios from high school and college age, then said, "Now you and your fiance are planning your honeymoon and instead of seeing yourself on that Carribean cruise you took, you are at an orphanage in Guatemala feeding children their only meal for the day." My jaw dropped, and I was shocked at how much that seemed to be talking directy to me. I made the decision right then and there that Sam and I were taking a mission trip for our anniversary.
Each year, we budget a certain amount of money throughout the year for our trip. I went to Sam and told him we needed more money than we'd budgeted for, and explained what I had in mind. We normally keep our trip plans secret from each other until much closer to leaving, but this was a different circumstance. We started researching possible trip locations, and googled Short Term Mission Trips. A long list of them came up, and I reviewed each one. One in particular came up called For His Glory Outreach, a non-profit in the US working directly with an orphanage in Haiti. I contacted the missions coordinator, and got some more details. Meanwhile, Sam looked up a little more about Haiti. He discovered the Department of State warnings for Americans not to travel to Haiti due to the violence and the Cholera outbreak. He did some more research, and determined he wasn't sure he wanted to go to Haiti. He asked about some places in the US that we could go, and I agreed there were safer and cheaper places to go, but I felt that we could be of greater use in Haiti than here since there are federal and state programs available to help most people here who need help (although I know the system isn't perfect), explaining that countries like Haiti have no government programs to help, and they rely upon Americans to help get the resources they need. We prayed about it both together and separate, and about a week later, Sam told me he was ready to go to Haiti with me! That book taught us to take a leap of faith, and we were doing just that.
We looked at pictures and videos of the orphanage in Haiti we would be visiting, and fell in love with it. The children, the nannies...we couldn't wait to get down there. We collected donations, both monetary and materials to take to them, as groups like us are the only way these orphanages get supplies they can't get in country, such as diapers, baby wipes, formula, etc. as mail doesn't get to them. So we packed 5 suitcases stuffed full of donations, with our own week's worth of necessary items in carry ons and headed to Haiti from June 1-9th!!

Haiti changed our lives.


In every sense of the word. NOTHING is the same for us after coming back from Haiti.

Our closest friends and family members have already heard this, and know how difficult it was for us to come back. We spent the first two weeks isolating in our house, sharing stories and tears with only each other, finding it difficult to talk about anything other than Haiti together. That country, it's people, it's orphans, moved us. It moved us to want to go back, to want to hold those children every night, to yell at selfish Americans who throw away thousands of dollars each year in a new pair of shoes they don't need, or going out to eat. We loved going out to eat before. But now, the food was tainted because that $9 a plate was sickening to think about, considering that's more than one person makes in an entire week of working 14 hours a day in Haiti. We were moved to want to do more.

But we were plagued with the question of how we wanted to help. What could we do to truly impact these children and their entire situation? We had several ideas, none of them great, but all of them would make an impact on children who have nothing. However we still felt so incredibly lost.

Meanwhile, for all of May and now into June, I was waiting to hear back from the University of Illinois in Chicago to find out if I was accepted into their Masters of Social Work program for this fall. I had plans to get my masters, as I wanted to become a child therapist. I had applied to 3 schools, and was waiting to find out from the 3rd before determining where we would be moving to this fall. We had already talked with people around town trying to find renters for our house, and were making plans to leave. Both of our jobs knew we were leaving in August, and the details would fall into place once we finally knew where we were moving.

But...after Haiti, school made me sick every time I thought about it. The dollar signs kept adding up in my head, and it made me physically ill to think about going back to school. I love to learn, and I would have really enjoyed school...before Haiti. But now, why would I spend more money than 5 families make in an entire LIFETIME working until they day they die in Haiti, on myself to better MY education. I already have a good job...why am I so special that this money was going to be spent on me, meaning we may not have enough to donate every month with only one income? I could feel it - some people call it a gut feeling, I call it God - He was telling me it was the wrong choice.

June 13th (4 days after returning from Haiti): While sitting at work doing paperwork, the idea suddently popped into my mind, "We could adopt!" I have NO idea where that came from. Sam and I never once talked about adoption while we were in Haiti, and never once did it come up since we returned. We are too young to adopt from Haiti (you have to be 35 and married for 10 years under the current law), so it was never something we truly considered to be an option right now. Maybe some day... but this random thought (God) popped into my head, and I instantly felt peace. All the unsettling and lost feelings I was having after Haiti disappeared for a split second while I entertained the idea of adoption. There are other countries, and so many other children! I quickly texted Sam telling him I had something huge to talk to him about that night, and dismissed the idea, worried I was getting my hopes up for nothing.

That night, I explained to Sam my crazy and unexpected idea. He can tell you what he was thinking and feeling at the time, but what I saw was a man's heart growing. For those of you who know Sam, and have heard him on several occasions jokingly gag when talking about becoming a parent (mostly as a joke, but it secretly terrified him), you can only imagine what I anticipated his response to be. He calmly said, Okay...yea, I mean let's pray about it and see where that takes us..."

Like I said, Haiti changed everything.

While we finished fixing supper, Sam picked out the movie we were going to watch that night (we often watch something over supper, and with our Haiti-induced Depression, we found ourselves numbly on the couch a lot). We have had the movie "Courageous" for 2 months sitting on our shelf, but we'd never put it in to watch it. He saw it on the top of the pile and decided to try it out. We cried more than once through that movie, looking each other and laughing at ourselves and each other through our tears, "This movie is really sad!" After the movie was over, we took a walk. The movie is about a group of fathers who stand up as strong Christian leaders in their homes despite the daily trials of raising children. It was like God was telling us what we were being called to do, yet again. Sam was incredible as we discussed adoption on that walk, and the way God worked in our hearts to prepare us for this was far beyond anything we ourselves could have done alone.

June 15, 2012: I came home and told Sam I didn't want to go to school. I had decided, but I actually had to convince him that we shouldn't move and shouldn't go to school because we'd spent the entire last year planning for this! I'd spent hours studying for the GRE, stressed over taking it, filled out several applications, wrote essays, we spent hours planning what our lives would look like after we moved...everything was building up to this fall...and now I wanted to change it. It took just about as much time to convince Sam I wanted to go back to school a year and a half ago as it did to convince him I didn't now! Haha, I can't blame him...I would have looked at me crazy too. But school didn't feel right, and I knew this wasn't a one-time opportunity. I can always go back when it does feel right, but this fall isn't it. I knew that much. We discussed again the idea of adoption. Knowing I wasn't going to school, adoption was clearly the answer. However, just to be sure, Sam again suggested we pray on it for the next week and then decide. We knew this was a huge decision, and one we didn't want to take lightly. Sam's family was coming into town from Texas to visit in a week, and I HAD to let Missouri State know soon if I was taking the position they offered me in their program or not. So, we gave ourselves a week to make any decisions (even if it was the decision to wait and decide later) regarding our future.

June 17, 2012 (Father's Day): After a fun-filled day of church and family time, we were walking into Wal-mart that night. Sam put his arm around me and told me he has decided 100% - he wants to adopt! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he was so sure after such a short period of time. Sam isn't one to make decisions lightly, or emotionally. He weighs out all pros and cons, and isn't impulsive. He balances me out very well :) I also couldn't believe he was choosing the Walmart parking lot to tell me I'm going to be a mother! Only the biggest moment of my life - no big deal :) I was too ecstatic to even care; it was such a surreal moment. Just two short weeks prior, I never would have guessed we would be making the decision to adopt. But God did. He knew what Haiti would be like for us, and He sent us there to get us ready for His ultimate plan. We too would have thought someone was crazy for deciding in 4 days to adopt a child internationally. Luckily, God doesn't work in the constraints of what people's minds can grasp. Before Haiti, we would have looked at this so differently. But that was a worldly way of looking at it. God isn't putting limits on us, we aren't going to put them on ourselves.

We know how huge of a decision it is to become a parent. We know there will be trials, and we know it will be hard at times. But we KNOW beyond any of that - God has a plan, and HE will see us through that. We have learned to be obedient, and will follow Him wherever he decides to take us.