Add 2 More, and Burlesons Become 4!

During our dicussions about which country to adopt from, we were also discussing whether or not to open ourselves up to sibling groups. Sibling groups are difficult to adopt out because most people don't want to take on more than one child at a time. So, we concluded, we are adopting two children. This might come as a shock to some, I think it did to me at first!

For those of you who don't know Sam very well, I'd like to do a little explaining. The power of God has been shown in many magnificent ways...and in our small lives, this is one of them! In our conversations about children pre-Haiti, Sam would usually make some comment about how uncomfortable talking about kids made him, accompanied by a gagging motion, and finished off with "We're only having two!" Anyone around for these conversations can attest to that, which actually happened frequently because our brother-in-law Dana used any opportunity to remind us it was time for children, and as he would put it "You're not getting any younger!" :) All in good fun of course! Since Dana's been pushing for kids for at least 2 years now, that's a lot of gagging :)

Another frequent conclusion of Sam's was that we were NEVER having girls. It just wasn't in his genes. His original theory was that the Burleson family only had children according to what gender the Burleson parent was. (We all laugh at this because this theory has been disproven three times now). To be fair, when he made this theory, Kristi had 3 girls, and Brian only had a boy. However...Calley has always had a boy, so that right there might have been a clue he's not onto something, but I love my husband for his big ideas. Since then, Kristi had a son and Brian had a daughter, so the theory would logically be disproven...

So the theory shifted from "We won't have girls because that's just not how my family works" to "We won't have girls because WE just won't have girls!" He clearly wasn't letting the "no daughters" policy go. I'm not sure of his reasoning, but I think girls scare him :) We're emotional and complicated. Sounds scary enough. I didn't have the heart to tell him we don't have a lot of control over that, nor that the more times he joked about it, the more girls we would probably end up with - God has a sense of humor too :)

SO to sum up, no more than 2 children, and NO girls.

I'll keep saying it, Haiti changed everything.
The way God works in us is truly indescribable.


Post-Haiti: Sam wants to adopt two children. He's also said the words "...next time we adopt..." :) I love my husband for being open to God's plan and not his own!

So...why two children? Simply put, we figure why rescue just one from potential death (because in the Congo that's what they face - 50% death rate for children under 5), when we can rescue two? Also, there were a few reasons we've decided not just to say we're open to a sibling group, but to request a sibling group. First, siblings deserve to be kept together...and most countries recognize that - they will not adopt siblings out separately because they know how important this is. But there's a catch 22 with this...siblings are being overlooked because they're siblings. They don't deserve to have to wait many years for a family to want them just because there's two, or three, or four of them. They're being overlooked for something that's in their best interest in the first place. Why does it feel so good to keep them together, only to feel so sad they're not getting adopted? More families should consider this.
Second, when we're bringing children home of a different race into an all-white family, it's going to be crucial for them to have someone they can identify with, and someone who came from their heritage. They will inevitably at some point, or maybe many points, of their lives feel like they're "different". Whether it's because they're black, or because they're adopted, or because they're Congolese. Regardless, we will work very, very hard to teach and praise our children for being different, reminding them that God makes each one of us special. Nobody is the same, and that's a magnificent thing. If we can minimize their feelings of being different in our own home, where they are to be the most loved and most accepted, it will be because they have someone else who looks like them and came from the same mother, country, and culture. The rest will have to fall into place, but they deserve to have someone going through the same thing right along side them.
Some might ask then, if two, why not more? I guess the best answer to this is that we also have to be a little bit realistic. Sam has concluded he would rather have man-on-man defense instead of zone for our first bout at parenting, so no sibling groups of three or more. :) Being first time parents, we will have a lot of adjusting and learning to do. Besides, like Sam says..."next time we adopt..."


I feel one-sided talking only about Sam's pre-Haiti feelings in this post. To clarify, I had pre-Haiti feelings too. I might have been able to talk about having children without gagging, that's true...but I was also transformed through our experience in Haiti. It's humorous to me - the limitations we put on ourselves only to find out God knows us better than we know ourselves. I am talking a lot about Sam's feelings because in this particular area, I think it is especially obvious the changes God can make in a person who's willing to let Him. Sam made the choice to be changed, praying he would become the man God wants him to be. That's the type of surrender I strive for, and Sam has whole-heartedly allowed God to work in him.

Oh, and one last thing....


Did I mention yet that Sam said to me the other night, "I feel like we should consider adopting girls..."