Happy Halloween!

Despite being on a Wednesday, I hope everyone had a wonderfully ghoulish Halloween!  :)

I want to apologize for the lack of posts lately!  There were a lot of unknowns after I posted last, and since we were up in the air, I didn't quite know what to write about.  In the meantime, we were busy helping with the planning of our annual church "Not-So-Scary Halloween Party".  We had it this past Sunday, and had an excellent time!  Sam and I were in charge of the Middle and High school kids games, and I hope they had as much fun as we did hanging out with them all night!

Each year, Sam and I's costumes have a unique concept.  We are each something individually, but together we make up something entirely different, and it's usually a play on words.  For example, one year Sam was dressed as a taco, and I was dressed as a toilet.  Together we were Taco John's.  (get it?)  Last year, I was a hairy person, and Sam was dressed as his boss, James Potter.  Together were were Harry Potter.  :)  We have a lot of fun with it, but it does get hard to come up with each year's costumes!  It's usually pretty difficult for people to guess what we are as well, and by the end of the night they usually get it, but it's not your run of the mill couple's costumes.  

Can you guess what we were this year?

Halloween 2012

Sorry the picture isn't very clear - I have on handcuffs, the things on my arms are tattoos, and I'm wearing an orange jumpsuit.  Sam is, very obviously, a stop light.  What you can't see is that the green light is lit up...

Hint:  I am first in this combo, and it's something significant to us.  Together, we are one word.  

I will tell you the answer at the bottom of the post :)  Meanwhile...

A little adoption update!  Since I posted last, we gained a lot more information about how our referral process is going to happen.  In case it's not very clear, a referral is the child/ren we are going to be matched up with, will proceed adopting, and one day bring home.  We were originally under the impression that we would be sent a picture and medical information for the children we were being matched with.  I had this beautiful idea of one day, receiving an email from our agency, and opening it up with Sam to see the first glimpse of our future children.  It was a moment I pictured a lot, and hoped would come soon.  When I wrote our last post, I was still under the impression this is how our referral would come to us, and was ecstatic it was going to be so soon!  

Shortly after writing that post (I blame myself for jinxing us by even writing it in a post), we got a little clarification.  Once they received our dossier (our entire file of paperwork to send to the country), we would go on a waiting list for a referral.  What waiting list we go on is determined by what our child preference is.  For example, if we wanted a baby girl, we would go a waiting list for a baby girl.  There are families who have been waiting 8 months for a baby, and continue to wait because most families want a baby.  There are waiting lists for all children ages 3 and younger.  So, since we have asked for a sibling group of 2 children, ages 7 and younger, with no gender preference, we go on a waiting list for that criteria.  

Good news is, we are the only family in that category.  We are the only family willing to take a child 5 and older.  We are the only family who wants a sibling group or more than one child older that 5 years old.  So, ideally, we would get a referral right away for a sibling group of 2 in our age bracket.  

Except...there are no sibling groups of 2 in our age bracket.  There are sibling groups, but not in our age bracket.  And since there are families waiting for younger sibling groups, we are behind those families if we want younger children.  

In my mind, I had kind of always pictured bringing home a toddler and a 5 or 6 year old.  I love, love, love toddlers.  So, my little mommy brain pictured this adorable little scenario.  When it became clear to us that we would very likely not be bringing home a toddler, I had to re-frame how I was picturing this to play out.  I wasn't upset about this change, but I would be dishonest to say I wasn't a little disappointed.  To be VERY clear, I am NOT disappointed about bringing home an older child.  I am only wishing I could do both.  

Now, we could wait for a sibling group that fits my little mommy brain scenario.  If a sibling group with a toddler and a child age 5 or older were to come into the orphanage, we would be the first family waiting for them. So, there's still a chance we could do that...

But then there's the alternative.  Since there are no sibling groups in our age group, we can choose from the other waiting children in the orphanage.  These waiting children are children either other families have said no to, or are children who are "too old" for other families to even consider or look at (age 5 and older is considered "too old" in this case).  So, we were given a list of roughly 15 children who are waiting for families.  How long each has been waiting varies, but one thing remains the same - they will all likely be waiting a very long time.  To give you a rough idea, here are the basics of who is on that list:

Sibling groups:

Girl age 12, Boy age 10

Boy age 11, Boy age 7

Boy age 8, Boy age 6, Boy age 5

Girl age 8, Girl age 6, Boy age 4

Single waiting children:

Girl age 9

Girl age 5 approximately

Girl age 4

Boy age 5 approximately

Boy age 5 approximately

Boy age 6 approximately

Boy age 7

We have the option of choosing from this list (either choosing a sibling group, or choosing two unrelated children to adopt), or waiting for a sibling group to come into the orphanage who fits that scenario above (toddler and older child).  

Some have told us to wait for that "ideal" little scenario.  Wait as long as it takes, no matter what.  

That is an option...but, that also doesn't fit another ideal scenario I've had in my head all along, and that's that we are traveling to go get our children next summer.  If we wait for that referral, the 6 months of waiting after that is going to be that much farther away.  Now, truthfully in the scheme of things, waiting an additional 2-3 months isn't really that big of a deal.  But what if it takes longer than that?  We're not interested in a 2 year adoption plan.  

The other thing that's not being considered with that option, is that while we're waiting for our picture-perfect little family to come along, those 15 children are waiting for families.  That doesn't make sense to me...why would be both be waiting??  I'm waiting to hold a child who needs held, to kiss children goodnight, and tell them over and over again how much I, their Daddy, and God loves them.  I long for that.....much more than I long for a toddler.  There are 15 beautiful children waiting at that orphanage, waiting to be held, waiting to be told God loves them, and waiting for that wonderful day they are pulled aside, shown a picture of a red haired mom and a dark-haired dad, and told a family has finally chose them.  That is what I want most.  

We went into this wanting to target those waiting children.  We chose to be open to special needs, older children, more than one, all because these were the children who wait and wait for families while the other children are chosen and going home all around them.  Were you ever the last one chosen for the baseball team??  Imagine not only being told you aren't good enough for a team, but you aren't a good enough child to be loved and part of a family...

These children don't deserve to sit and wait, feeling inadequate and unloved.  They've already been abandoned once, they need reassurance, not continued abandonment.  We did not go into this to find to "perfect" children.  If we wanted perfect, we would choose baby Jesus.  Last I checked, He isn't up for adoption...

So, to make a long story short (haha, yea right), we are still waiting for a government form, giving us the golden ticket to be able to adopt.  This should come back in 5-7 weeks.  In that time, we are waiting, praying, and evaluating which children we want.  If additional children come in who don't have families waiting for them, we will be notified and they will be added to the waiting children list we are choosing from. There will be another post on the agonizing journey of "choosing" our children...but for now, that's our update.  Sorry for the premature last post expecting to know who our children are by now...I know, I know..our hope was let down too.  :)

So, back to Halloween...

Got any guesses?  

I am a Convict, and Sam is a Green light.  

Aka Con and Go.....

CONGO  :)

We thought it was appropriate, and perhaps a little corny, but that's alright with us :)

One Step Closer!

So, not a lot has happened here in the past 2 weeks.  We hit a lull, and have quickly realized what the next 6-8 months are going to feel like!
I'll back up a bit...

After completing our last homestudy visit on September 6th, we quickly compiled the rest of our Dossier paperwork.  Apparently, the Congo dossier is extremely simple, and it didn't take long before we had everything we needed:
1. Certified copies of each of our birth certificates and our marriage license.  We got these about 6 weeks ago, knowing we would need them and this is something we could work on getting ahead of time.
2. Copies of passports.  Simple trip to the copy store and this was done.
3. A passport size photo of each of us.  We got an extra passport photo from when we got our passport in May for Haiti.  Pulled them out of the file and that's done.
4. State Criminal Clearances.  This we would have had to wait for but we asked our homestudy social worker if we could just have her copies when she was done with them and she happily obliged!  This saved us a lot of time, and we received them in the mail from her - pretty simple!
5. Medical Letter on doctor letterhead.  This was a bit tricky.  We had worked ahead on this one as well, but then realized there was a very specific template that needed to be signed by the doctors.  So, the ones we got previously signed were not ones we could use.  (I suppose working ahead isn't always a benefit when you don't have all the information you need).  It was fine though that we had to get them redone because Sam's doctor had signed a template with the "Enter patient's name here" and "Patient's Date of Birth" still in the letter - the things he was supposed to take out to personalize the letter were still very much in there...haha,I told Sam next time to just ask him to sign a paper saying he would give away all of his money or something!  My doctor was the bigger issue, because in the letter it stated, "Laura is free of all communicable diseases.  Tests for HIV and Tuberculosis were negative..."  My doctor wouldn't sign it unless I were actually tested for HIV and Tuberculosis.  Luckily our local Public Health could do these tests for under $30 instead of the $500 it was going to cost me at my doctor's office!  So, I feel I should announce...I do not have Tuberculosis or HIV :)
6.  Copy of State Adoption Laws.  Our agency already had them for Iowa, so that was taken care of for us.
7. Two letters we had to sign and get notarized.  One stated we would maintain contact with our children's biological family if we were asked to, and the other stated that at least one of us would travel to the Congo to pick up our children.  This was simple besides the first notary didn't stamp it, claiming she didn't have to.  We just took it to another notary since it was obvious she was pretty convinced she didn't have to stamp it.

So that's it - for the past 3 weeks, we have had all of our paperwork completed, and were just waiting for our homestudy report to be completed.  We also got some projects done around the house, so we didn't have a lot to focus on with the adoption...

And boy was it ever agonizing!  I really cannot complain - our process has gone very quickly so far.  We started in July, and didn't start any of the paperwork until August.  That's only 2 months, some people spend 6 or more just getting everything in order!  And then spend the next 2 years waiting to go get their child!  I'm extremely grateful we chose the Congo, I do not have the patience for a 2 year adoption plan!!  I want my kiddos NOW!!!  :)

So the good news is....last night we got the draft of our homestudy!  We reviewed it to let her know of any changes that needed to be made, and then she sent it on to our agency to be proofread.  Once the agency reviews it and makes sure it meets all requirements, she can get our 3 copies notarized and we will be set to send in all of our paperwork!  Which means most likely by the end of this week....


WE ARE READY FOR A REFERRAL!!!!!


We cannot believe that we could potentially know who are children are going to be by Friday.  That would be extremely quick, but from what our social worker at the agency has said, there are waiting children and we shouldn't have to wait for a referral since we are willing to accept older children, special needs, siblings...I pray she's right and we will know soon, because I really really need to see my babies faces.

There is of course two sides to that...There is ONE form left that cannot be completed right away.  It is the US Government form I-600A, which is the golden seal that will approve us for adoption.  If we don't have that, we cannot adopt.  The problem is, we can't send that form in to start that process until we have our homestudy.  So, once we get our homestudy report by Wednesday or Thursday this week, we can mail in that form.  It takes 5-7 weeks to come back to us, which is okay with our agency.  But that means we cannot start any of the in-country processes to get this adoption finalized any quicker until that form gets turned in.  So, we will KNOW who our children are, but will be WAITING that much longer to go get them.  They said it takes an average of 6 months from the time the in-country court processes start to when we can travel to go get our children, so if we can't start the in-country processes until December, that's June before we can travel.  There is always a chance the processes will slow down at any time with no warning, so it's not that predictable, but that's the way the timeframe is currently looking...

Now, again, I'm not complaining.  In the scheme of adoption - that's still incredibly fast!  We could be done start to finish in 10 months...That's really really fast.  But in the scheme of my mind and my longing to hold my children, it's really slow :)  However, people do it all the time with pregnancy, so we can do it too!  :)

So, we just wanted to share this little piece of encouraging hope!!  We could know who our kids are very soon!  We cannot post pictures of them online anywhere because of child trafficking, but you will all know when we get a referral!!  :)  Keep up the prayers!